Revising Seedfolks Narratives

 Science Class: Click Here

Aim:
IWBAT revise my narrative, in order to:

• begin my story with an interesting hook
• end the story with a satisfying conclusion
• add three or more additional character traits to the story
• show, not tell, details about my character

Tasks:
1. Do Now:

• Open your the draft of your Bayview Seedfolks narrative. Reread your draft.
• Complete a questionnaire about your draft: click here
• When you finish:
• continue working on your draft, or begin revising your draft
• complete parts of speech activities:
• Nouns #1 / Nouns #2 / Nouns #3 / Nouns #4 / Nouns #5 / Nouns #6
• Verbs #1 / Verbs #2 / Verbs #3
• Prepositional Phrases / Adjectives & Adverbs
• Noun Dunk
• Grammar Gorillas
• Toon University Parts of Speech
• Word Invasion

2. Copy Your Narrative into Mr. T's Template:

• Open Google Drive. Click Writing Portfolio. 
• Open your narrative draft. 
• Select the text of your draft (not the title or heading, just the writing). 
• Change the font to Verdana and the size to 14.
• Press Ctrl + C to copy the text.
• Go back to the Writing Portfolio in Google Drive. Click on the document titled My Bayview Seedfolks Narrative - Your Name.
• Change the title Leader to the first name of your community leader (not your name).
• Change the byline to your first and last name.
• Select the helper text below the horizontal line.
• Press Ctrl + V to paste the text from your draft.
• Make sure the formatting looks okay and that you have indented each paragraph using the Tab key. Delete any spaces between paragraphs (to keep it the same).

3. Submit Your Narrative to Mr. T:

• In the upper right corner of My Bayview Seedfolks Narrative - Your Name, click Share (the big blue button).
• Under Who Has Access, click the blue link Change.
• Select Anyone with the link.
• Next to Access, select Can comment from the drop-down menu that currently says Can view.
• Click Save.
• Copy the link (or web address) to your writing project: use Ctrl + C.
• Complete the form below with the link to your narrative: use Ctrl + V.

 

4. Examine the Opening: 

• Reread the opening of your narrative to make sure that it catches (hooks) the reader's attention. Make it fresh and exciting, not stale.
• If you need some ideas for the hook, try one of these:
• Select an interesting piece of dialogue ("What was that noise?!")
• Insert an exclamation (Bam! A door slammed in the other room.)
• Describe an interesting character (Mr. T was not the usual teacher.)
• Describe an interesting setting (It was an especially cold and foggy morning in San Francisco.)
• Start with an exciting event (I ran down Third Street as fast as I could, trying to outrun the man behind me.)
• Appeal to the senses by describing an interesting smell, sight, sound, feel, or taste (My nose burned with the smell of smoke.)
• Ask the reader to imagine something (Imagine that...)

5. Examine the Ending:

• Reread the ending of your narrative to make sure that it brings the story to a satisfying ending.
• It should feel like the story comes to an actual end.
• The ending should be exciting or fun, if possible.
• Do not write The End
• Do not write To Be Continued
• If needed, revise the ending of your writing.

6. Characterization Checklist:

• Have a partner read through your narrative.
• While reading through your narrative, your partner should highlight (or underline) any traits from your characterization graphic organizer (click here) that you've included in the story.
• When your partner finishes, examine which of the un-highlighted traits on your graphic organizer are important and should be added to your narrative. Highlight these in a different color (or circle them).
• Then, revise your narrative to add at least three more character traits to your writing. Remember to show these traits, don't tell them!

7. Show, Don't Tell:

• Identify three or more places you have told, not showed, details about a character's feelings or personality (for example, saying that a character is nice, interesting, fun, bored, excited, happy, angry, frustrated, hopeful...)
• Replace these parts of the stories by showing, not telling -- use dialogue and actions
• To show a feeling, write what a character might do or say when feeling a certain way and let the reader decide what feeling this shows.
• To show a personality / character trait, write specific events or dialogue (direct words from a character) that demonstrate how the character is a certain trait
• To show a different detail, add more sensory details to your writing (sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings)
• Be creative! Use your imagination! Make your writing interesting!

8. Partner Revision:

• Open a spreadsheet with the link to your teammates' narratives: click here
• Find the teammates' names from your table group. Click on the link to one of their narratives.
• Read each of your tablemates' narrative. 
• For each narrative, write at least 1 positive (Something I loved...) and 1 constructive (Something you could improve...) piece of feedback.
• Remember, you can make comments by clicking Comment in the Insert menu, or you can just click Ctrl + Alt + M.

Homework: "Soul Mates Are Everywhere" (need to reread the story? click here)